After a tumultuous first 3 months of the year I find myself at the beach in Kaikoura. Miles from the mountains and desert of Wanaka I find myself on the edge of the island between new mountains and the big wide open ocean. The ocean! Such a treat to see the ocean. Such a treat.
I have my beloved pooch Tui with me. She is not that keen on the camper van life but does however love love! the wide openness of the beach and endless sticks and sand. And …. seagulls! A colly, born to chase.
Such a relief it is to be here. Instead of the internal tornado of the past 3 months here it is complete saturation in the openess and mystery of the vast ocean. So beautiful, so wild, so calming, its vastness takes my breath away every second.
I reflect on finding balance. The rigours of the internal world, our thoughts, our worries, our uncertainties, we can’t stay there forever. Grace, (and the total super coolness of my camper) brought me here to Kaikoura. Something deep inside of me both conscious and unconscious was craving this openness.
I sit in the dunes tucked out of the wind, hiding in the dune grass. I position myself as a pro photographer would with blades of tufting grass foregrounding the windswept beach and the absolute endlesslness of the open ocean beyond.
I sit. I sit. I sit. Staying.
Staying.
How restful for the mind!
What a balm!
I suspect that people who don’t go camping, who instead go to Europe or some fancy place on their holiday, I suspect they pity the poor people who can only afford to go camping. A holiday full of public toilets, $4 for a hot shower, cooking breakfast lunch and dinner out of a chilly bin (or fancy camper van fridge). But it is a great secret for those that avoid such adventures. Camping, or campervaning is the greatest holiday in the world. Sitting in my camper, tucked behind the sand dunes in arguably one of NZ’s most stunning beaches, I nestle in laughing and laughing. Such peace to be here!
Yes the greatest wonder of camping is that there is so little to do.
Waking in the morning, making a slow cuppa, feeding the dog and then…. sitting. Turning on some very slow and chilled tunes I sit back in the sunshine and watch the waves and heavy seaweed rolling in.
I sit. I sit. I stay. Staying.
Such peacefulness!
The wide vast open ocean, the openness is such a balm to all the craziness of the past few months. My mind and the whole and complete self soaks it up, every second, every ounce. Walking the beach watching Tui chase the gulls, watching captivated as the huge heavy clumps of seaweed rise and fall in the swell, digging my feet into the stony sand, crouching down to be amazed at the soft beauty of the pastel seaweed and stones. Yep surely I am blessed to be here.
The realisation has impact – this level of relaxation and quietness is beyond comparison to having a weekend of downtime at home. Here, there is no housekeeping to fuss over, no garden to be tended, no ceramics to be turned, no chicken house to be cleaned. How much I was craving this space, this emptying, this quietness.
The afternoon has always been my favourite time for meditation. There’s something about the dusky hour that deeply moves me. The surreal light, the hushed end to the day, the shift to move inwards seems perfect. Campervan door open, puffer jacket on, fantails twittering away, the feeling of ocean and sky everywhere, I sit. Eyes open practice. Sitting. I love this. The first thought – I love this. This is exactly where I’m meant to be.
The practice today – Mahamudra. Open awareness. Orienting to the whole. I keep turning my awareness to orient to the whole of the body, the whole of the soundscape, the whole of the visual field, the total and complete ocean of awareness. Every time it’s like a sigh, a let go. The external ocean in all its vastness, in all its beauty. The internal gesture in all its intimacy, its sacredness.
An ocean of endless openness everywhere. No inside no outside.
A sigh.
Yes.
Thank you.
